Saturday, January 14, 2012

Attachment Parenting part 4/4 (The Heart)

In conclusion, I would say AP parenting has made me be a more compassionate and understanding parent, it has helped me get behind my child's eyes, I still loose my temper at times-especially if I am so focused on what I am doing and how the kids are interrupting it and complicating my life! It is common sense parenting to me.It is a lot of work with a new baby, but I find it more work to not be as connected- then I have no idea whats going on when my child acts up, or the baby is crying- i just throw my hands up in the air and say why me? I am too busy for this today!  I think AP helps me to be a better christian parent when used correctly. I personally feel that, done the correct way it can more accurately help me parent the way the Bible talks about-specifically when it talks about guiding and teaching a child while they are young and sitting on your lap. I think it teaches me to have a calm response and not a swift reaction. I highly recommend it (when applied with balance). Also, if you do not do AP- I do not consider you a disconnected, bad or detached parent.To each their own- do what works for your family!

Again- This is just what I have found in the past 2 1/2 years, what I did not know before I became a mom. What I have learned in the process, hoping it will help other moms of babies and toddlers. I cannot give too much advice, nor would I pretend to know about parenting a 5 yr old or a teenager. I only know about what works for my first son and my baby thus far. It is very hard to not care what others think of how you parent but I encourage you to look at your child's heart. It is easy to judge others kids by the fact that they are energetic and bouncing off the walls, however if they have a heart for God that is more important than great manners and a inner rebellious spirit. I am constantly feeling convicted and  challenged by God to not nit pick at my sons manners but to focus on his heart- that is what God cares about anyways right? Who cares what the lady at the grocery store thinks- does she know your child's heart !? (Easier said than done- I know!) My friend Cassie is so encouraging on this issue- it has really helped.

The Bible is the ultimate guide, but for more specific parenting problems and options, some books/videos really can help.

Toddler/ Child Discipline:

Have a New Kid by Friday ( Love and I highly recommend).... he also has Have a New Teenager by Friday!
Making the"Terrible Twos" Terrific (do not agree with everything but you are going to get that with parenting books)
Happiest Toddler on the Block  ( I do not love this book, the author believes in evolution.There is a lot I do not agree with but there are a few tips in there that really do help, I would not buy it-but I would get it out of the Library or borrow it for those tips.)
Creative Correction- I loved this book because it had stories for each misbehavior-to get to the heart of your child, it had bible verses for behaviors. Certain parenting techniques I would never use because I think they are too harsh. Overall- there was much to be taken from it, but some should be left (my opinion only).

I enjoy me some super nanny- she gets the children to behave right ( I would use her time out technique and stay in bed technique) but I think it is important to know that good behavior does not always mean a good heart.

Newborn Cries and what they mean (This really helped with my second. While the baby is crying, turn it on and see which sound matches)
Happiest Baby on the Block- I could not make it through the book-but I LOVE the DVD.Perfect for dealing with newborn crying. 
The baby book- birth to age 2  ( In the process of reading, so far-so good)
Safety measures to co sleeping 
Breastfeeding, natural birth, and co sleeping- LLLI 
Co sleeping concerns- Sears- I love Sears stuff because, he has the information but I never hear " before we evolved" a reason to back up his opinion.He claims to be a Christian, he is not a fan of regular corporal punishment- that subject is between you, your Bible and God- I am not a theologian, and I also do not think they know everything!
No Cry Sleep Solution 

Books I want to read:
Its your kid not a Gerbil and Home court Advantage - not letting your kids be involved in too many outside activities, which helps you spend more time teaching them and building a strong family.
No-Cry Discipline Solution- I was not crazy about the title as I thought it might mean being too easy on children-but it means teaching children to obey without tantrums,crying etc., I loved her no cry sleep solution so I would give it a read.
Why Christian Kids Rebel- I really want to read this one, it caught my eye and one of the reasons it gives is " parents treat their beliefs like a hobby" and boy did it convict me.
The Parent you want to be: Who You are matters more than what you Do- That statement is SO true. I look forward to this one.

If any friends or family want to borrow any of the books I have read, let me know- I own them. If you have read any of these books let me know what you did and did not like about them below in the comments.

One word of caution- make sure in all your parenting reading that you spend more time actually parenting your children- than reading about it! You will not get anywhere if all you do is read about parenting-although it is easy to fall into. Motivate yourself to put your children's  heart,behaviors, needs and issues before your housework and hobbies, in return I have found that if I do that,more housework gets done, there is more harmony and obedience-because I took care of wrong behavior right away-the longer I pretend not to see my son touching something I warned him about- the longer it will go on, the more confused he will be when I do discipline him- the worse I will feel for sending mixed messages.

By next Friday I will hopefully have a cute little craft room to show you completed. I hope something I have said has encouraged or given insight to you as a mother, I pray that God gives me the right words to say and the right way to say them so that they may be used to touch your heart.


  1. Thanks for posting this series! I.really enjoyed it!

    Ignore the comment about that book on.3/4 :)

  2. Thank you for the feedback Alyssa! Glad you enjoyed!