There is plenty on the internet you can look up about what Attachment Parenting is, but not so much about what it is not. So I thought I would dispel some myths and misconceptions.
Every baby and family is different. I personally, don't want my 2 1/2 yr old sleeping with me (he now sleeps best in his own room,SIDS is no longer a concern, sleeping in his own room gets him good sleep), but I don't care what other people do! I think the reason some Christians are so against it, is because of the misguided idea that it means you have a child centered home, that your marriage is not a priority- I respectfully disagree. I am not going to lie that the trap is not so easy to fall into- having a child centered home is probably one of the things that is so hard to stay away from when you have real small ones. Let me tell you though, when my husband joins in, and picks the baby up in the middle of the night and cuddles him, like he did last night, and when he feels attached to that baby and overwhelms him with love- that helps our relationship- that makes me say " wow, my husband loves our family and cares about helping me out"
At the risk of sounding like a broken Leman record ..." Children are an extension of their mother"- and it is so true. Love on your kids, and your wife will love on you. Also, co sleeping absolutely does NOT have to affect physical intimacy in a marriage.All I will say is- where there is a will- there is a way, and if you have a husband- there is always a will, it's how God made them.Yes, i hear you chuckling! As an example... the Duggars keep their babies in their room until about 18 months (co sleeping, defined as keeping baby close while sleeping) they also have young visitors through the night, I think we all know their intimacy is not lacking-19 kids& counting! If you choose to have your baby in bed/room it should be a joint decision/ husband supported.
On this subject of the Child centered home. I hear this warning often it almost always hits a nerve with me because sometimes it comes across (to me) as, children are second class citizens,they are too be seen and not heard. I am sure that is not what is meant,but it can come across that way if you hear it enough! To clarify this, that is not what Jesus says at all, they are a gift to be enjoyed, they are a blessing given. Your life is going to change when you have kids-they WILL inconvenience you, your priorities are going to change. Your marriage is going to change- but it can all change for the better!
Children and Parents are equal in Gods sight, we just have different roles- you are to be in authority over children.You are to put your marriage before your kids which as my friend put it so well she said, "not having a child centered home to me means that if you have a date night with your husband and your child is crying, you tell them its ok hunny, you will be alright but mommy and daddy need to spend time together", you don't let that stop you from going out (I would reschedule for bad sickness of course). That is balance to me. Not having a child centered home also does not mean that it is to be a marriage centered home (like so many think) it is to be a Christ centered home! Marriage comes before the kids wants and desires but God comes before the marriage, making your marriage an idol is not going to make it what it should be. Put God first, and the marriage (between two believers) should come together much better,easier,faster than if you try to piece it all together yourself.
I try not to pick my baby up when hes screaming in his highchair, but I understand that he wants to get down. So instead of leaving him scream to figure out that I dont like it, to which they usually just exhaust themselves to stop crying, I choose to say" no levi, that is not the right way to ask" and I will show him how to sign - up, please or all done(at this point he has already stopped crying, may sign as he learns them- and I pick him up). Does it teach him that screaming gets attention because I turn around when he does it? I guess you can look at it that way, but Iv found if I at least teach him the right response, he can know what is expected instead of not knowing what to do to be picked up. There is a lot of changing that goes on between a baby and a toddler when it comes to their brain, yes they are smarter than we sometimes give them credit for- but we should not expect that they can put things together just as fast and easy as an adult can. In my opinion toddlers can be much more manipulative than babies, they make more connections and if you give them too much they will keep pushing it.
This mother is a sign language teacher, all babies do not sign this many signs at a year-but the more you sign with your baby, the more they will learn. The other night I was surprised my 9 1/2 month old was throwing his mesh feeder on the floor, yet he still seemed hungry, since I was attentive, I noticed he then held his hand out and was signing milk. That was his way of saying, no more apple, I would like milk please- and he was thirsty.
I would never claim that my way is the only way to do it correctly- it is not, this just the way that works best for me to teach my children the way I feel God wants me to. To be compassionate and caring, by learning the lesson myself. The power of Christ in me, is what is helping me to balance, have self control of my tongue and body language ( in the way I speak to my kids), I am learning to respond to my children instead of reacting in anger/frustration. It is an ongoing lesson when you have a toddler. Self control does NOT come naturally for many people. I would generally explain my approach(and what I aim for) as soft spoken, but firm( yes it is possible with Gods help).