Life Keeps Moving

In case you thought I forgot I have a blog, I have not- just been extremely busy with life:-) and happy to be able to enjoy it after being bedridden the first part of pregnancy. So much has happened in the last couple months! I guess you could say 2012 has been mostly" good to us" besides having hyperemesis-the real reason for it is awesome- we are having a baby and  for those of you who don't know, we have recently bought our first house/home and we LOVE it. So many little small things have made this change worth it, a dishwasher next to the sink- as small as that may sound it feel as though it has changed my life,because doing dishes is so quick and easy-which will come in hand with the baby:-).

 A warmer house has been a very appreciated change, as well as doing my wash in the warm house and not having to go out on the back porch with a jacket:-). My third favorite thing is that my children have a school/play room which means my kitchen and living room are generally much easier to keep clean. Moving to a new area has been an adjustment, not knowing where ANYTHING is, has been very odd to me- since the last places we have lived we have been around/grown up near, but today I braved the roads WHILE my gps was not working and I had no cell phone service, and managed to find my way until I got the gps up and working-yay!.. ok it might not have been the fastest route but it was not too off :-D. Overall we are very blessed and enjoying our new home , there is still some regular hanging up things and such to do, but I am almost done our "baby cove" in our room which I am very excited about:-). I will have blog post with pictures of that and baby items I am making soon.

 Which brings me to the next tid bit you would not know if you were not a friend or family member..drum roll please....we are having............................ our first baby Girl!- at least that's what they told me and they were positive so hopefully "they" (the doctor, intern and sonogram tech) are right:-D. My family and friends had a beautiful baby girl shower for me a few weeks ago before we moved. I was so blessed and thankful to be given a baby shower,being it was my first baby- but I really was in need of some GIRL things as everything I have is blue:-) Very much appreciated- thank you to everyone who made the day awesome:-)

O

 Photos by Carolyn: Sweet memories facebook
Cake by Amber:Amber's website
Elephant onesies by Keilah:Thread of Life facebook

My Favorite Homemade Sandwich

This is my favorite homemade sandwich right now.

 

I love kaiser rolls:-)...

I like to toast the kaiser rolls in the toaster with cheddar cheese, add red onion, turkey(fresh if pregnant;-)), and claussen sandwich pickles,submarine dressing, romaine lettuce, and parmigiana cheese. It was one of the first real food I was able to eat after being sick and it was so exciting:-)

I Will Not Leave You as Orphans, I Will Come to You

Orphan Sunday is November 4th, 2012 this year. Orphan Sunday is a day where Christians come together to support, encourage and promote adoption, foster care, and other ways of caring for orphans.

There is a full range of resources for Orphan Sunday here. Which includes bulletin inserts, ideas for orphan sunday, posters, flyers and a lot more. You can get badges for your blog as well. It is getting late as we have 2 weeks(one Sunday) before Orphan Sunday, but there is also speakers for your church,you can find for orphan Sunday(keep that in mind for next year). You can also contact christian agencies such as Bethany Christian Services (they are now working hard for foster care in many countries as well as adoption) and AWAA- America World Adoption Agency (which just started up doing domestic adoptions as well as international) for information on how your church can help/programs that they need the most financial support for. Also Show Hope is a christian organization that financially helps christian families adopt through grants and fundraising as well as caring for orphans needs.


Orphan Sunday 2012 from Christian Alliance for Orphans on Vimeo.

  Steven Curtis Chapman from Christian Alliance for Orphans on Vimeo.


Financial support is so very,very needed, but it is not just about that. It is about helping those families who have adopted get the spiritual and emotional help and support as well. For the adoptive families it may be, sending them a card letting them know you are praying for them, being graceful and compassionate (without judgement) when their child is throwing a "fit" or not being responsive or polite-realizing that there is much more going on than what you may see and that discipline may look very different for these children and care for them may look different as well, the rules of caring for a adopted child are not as cut and dry as they may be for biological children who have from the beginning been given the love and attention they need- so try your best not to judge or offer opinions. It may be picking up their other children from school or activities, or taking them for a few hours. Different families need different things, and I think some things may be more harm than good- so just ASK what you can do, and be open that you truly want to help- your not just asking to be polite, but also give them space if they just came home with their child. I am sure there is so, so much more that could be added to this and having never adopted myself  I cannot say what is truly needed- but I do know that everyone needs prayer.

As you read and watch webinars/videos on adoption you may realize how many things can "go wrong" in adoption when you hear about disorders and fetal alcohol syndrome, aids etc.- which seems to be what I hear most if I am causally talking about adoption, people talking about everything that can go wrong as a reason why no one should adopt unless they want to put themselves in a bad situation. While, yes these kids can come from very terrible situations- not to downplay the very true fact that you might have a really really rough road, and no one can be fully prepared for what your child may need. I think it is important to remember that- if you are called to something by God- the fact that it is hard does not change the fact that you are called. It's not about who else is or is not adopting and what their reasoning is, its about your relationship with your creator and what He has for your life/your family.A little side note on the "horror adoption stories", you also hear numerous terrible stories when your pregnant about birth- but the fact is many many people have very healthy babies and perfectly fine labors. I would know the same to be true of those who have adopted- things can go wrong but over all that child is totally "worth it".

Russell

Lastly, Yes- everyone is NOT called to adopt, but please do not assume you are not just because it is not in your life plan. Pray about it, and pray about how you can help since as Christians we ARE called to care for orphans and widows(not just one or the other- both) and you can find some ways to help through the links above. So don't just talk about how you would "like to adopt someday", do something to care for the least of these Now, you don't have to have a ton of money, you can do a garage sale and give the money to Show hope or a family in need- or even choose to support a child from Compassion International- these children are often not orphans but they are some of the "least of these" and need basic need to be met and to learn about God.

In writing this post, I was starting to wonder- as more days have gone by since I had planned on writing it, and with all I have to do with projects and preparing for my baby coming( in about 3 months) and possibly moving soon- I wondered if maybe God did not want me to write it. Maybe I just don't have the time, it won't make any difference- who is going to read it etc. Then it hit me- it is not God who did not want it written, it is the enemy. I am in no way a amazing writer or a miracle worker, but I know someone who is and He helped me write this- when I wasn't sure where to start. (This is my disclaimer) Although this post may not be perfectly written, or maybe something is not politically correct etc. Please know that it is only with good intentions that it is written, to promote something that is very important to me and I feel the churches of America need some help with- and here is a great way to help.

Romans 8:14-16 For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God. For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father.The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God

DIY Wool Dryer Balls & Projects in the making

First off, there is a new burp cloth set in my Etsy shop Here.  I also had a custom order for a boyish crinkle square this past week :-) Here is a picture.

Recently I have a lot of projects in the works and a gigantic list planned. The Ones I am working on right now are a Wool soaker pants(aka longies) for my almost 19 month old, so that I can cloth diaper him at night without any fears of leaks. Wool is supposed to be amazing for absorption, keeps the babies feeling dry, and breathable. It has been a lot of work and this was my second go around(with a different pattern the second time), long drawn out single crochet(boring) but I appreciated the boring over- is this going to turn out?:-) sorry no pictures till its done:-).

My second project in the works is a big one as well -two identical Dr. Suess quilts for my little boys for christmas (which will be appliqued with their names in a square on the back). I am so excited to have it all cut out and started :-), cutting it out was a huge project in itself- I am enjoying finally sewing something!

My third project( on the side, something I do while the kids are watching a show or I have a few min) winding wool dryer balls, another great use for wool- dryer balls, they dry your cloth diapers quicker- and work as a natural fabric softener (since dryer sheets and fabric softener are a no- no with cloth diapers. they also help the diapers/inserts to separate and not stick to each other making them more musty if they dont get thrown in for a second dry cycle right away. What is allowed is tea tree oil- so i put a few drops of that on each ball. I had 3 dryer balls before and noticed an improvement bust still needed quite a bit of drying and I was uncertain. Then i read you really should have 6-8 to really notice a difference- so I made (with the help of my sister in law, several more- now I will have 8 :-).. it also worked out that I used my yarn from that first soaker that did not turn out and the yarn was cut in a ton of pieces cuz I had to yank it out(i could have cried,pregnancy hormones and crafts don't always mix :-D).

Make sure the wool yarn you choose says 100% wool on back (and good for felting) 2 of this size will give you 3 large dryer balls(or 6 smaller)

First I wound it until it was HALF the size of what I desired(left one)

Then put it in a large sock with ties of yarn in between(make it snug), throw it in for HOT wash cycle and dry cycle (kept in sock)

Cutt the yarn off the outside

Add on winding the ball until desired size or just slightly bigger(since it will felt)

It helps to tie the yarn under other layers of yarn for when you throw it in the sock

After your done winding, repeat the process of putting it in a sock (ties in between the different balls) and  HOT wash, dry

Add a few drops of tea tree oil if preferred and keep them in your dryer.

Please note, if you decide to use regular fabric sheets or fabric softener on your clothing-take your dryer balls out of the dryer as to keep them free of fabric softener for your cloth diapers. Also, tea tree oil is safe for cloth diapers because of what it is - all scents are not equal or compatible with cloth diapers.
Disclamer: This is not at all something new, there are many different methods to making these and with other types of wool, I originally made my first ones nearly a year ago I believe but cannot find the original tutorial- I prefer a wash dry, add on wash dry method, but some only do the process once and make smaller wool balls. Let me know which ones are your favorite:-)- i still love my colorful ones  best I think but they didn't have them in stock when I got my new yarn:-(.
Other wool dryer tutorials/methods:
http://www.earthycrunchymama.com/2012/04/how-to-make-and-use-wool-dryer-balls/
http://goodmama.typepad.com/goodmama/2008/05/make-your-own-wool-dryer-balls.html

DIY Kids Wall Decor/ Dr. Suess Room

For my sons 3rd birthday my mom gave him a gift card to Amazon. We bought him a few Dr. Seuss books to read and two books we bought the same of for wall decor ideas ( The are you my mother book we were able to find used on amazon so I did not feel bad "ruining" a book) I had found online/decided on. I admit not a original idea, but planning the boys Dr. Suess room I had looked online for all things Dr. Suess and wall decor. I couldn't afford to buy most (or would not spend the money;-) ) of it and many was not exactly what I wanted anyways. So I folded and rolled the pages, scotch tape where needed and hot glued each page into the seam of the book-I am very happy with how it turned out and my son loves it. It is hot glued on to a canvas I bought at Michael s, they had a special where you buy 7 for $14 bucks I believe, which was cheaper than buying 2 by themselves!

The next one I just finished last night, it really takes maybe a hour?! However, I have been rather distracted with life;-), getting my home under control after HG and spending time with the kids. It is 3 canvases with pages from "Are You My Mother" it was Isaac's favorite book when he was 18 months, and now it is one of  Levi's favorites(although Hop on Pop definitely tops it- I may make one with that for Levi) The boy's will be sharing the Dr. Seuss room when we move.

This one is my favorite, I love the little bit of red color, it was actually quite fun to make!

For this one, you need :
A paper back(used for cheaper) book
Scissors
Modge Podge (can be found at walmart) or watered down Elmer's glue may do the trick
Paper towel, or paint brush brush (don't use sponge)

You want to pick the phrases from the book and pictures that your child will recognize/loves the most, we always read from the beginners book so it does not have the plane and boat and car in it like in the regular Are You My Mother. I mainly focused on what the kids like and would notice. Try to cut out the paper in different ways, circles,squares, snip the corners etc. to make everything fit the best. I decided what I wanted on each canvas, I wanted it to go in the general story line of the book. Then I cut everything out so it would fit in a way that looks best( try to cut in different ways, squares, circles, snip ends etc),and then put just a little Modge Podge on top where the pictures that were going on top would be, the great thing about Modge Podge is its thin- so often times people will put it over top of fabric a paper and it will not leave that glossy glue look and it will be clear( as long as you don't use too much), I would do that as well for tough edges-it helped :-). I let it dry and then put sticky tack on the back of the canvases.
Tip: Do whatever you can to not move any of the paper after it is placed, a little sliding might be ok but only if you have just the right amount of glue as to not have the paper tear or be ripply (my first canvas you can see a bit of bubbling)

Enjoy:-)

If you are looking to buy something like the first one, there is a someone on Etsy who has one with Cat in the Hat and may take custom orders( I can't find it now but I am sure if you type in the right words you could:-) ).

Miniming to Maximize Your Life and Home

First-Health Update- I am much much better than I have been, I am back to watching my kids 24/7 by myself, and amazingly do NOT vomit most days-with help from medicine, at this point in my past pregnancies I was still puking a once-three times a day- so this pregnancy that has started terrible is turning out quite well :-D I regularly have nausea, and will gag and occasionally vomit but really nothing compared to what Iv been through and how so many others with HG are going through. My 20 week ultrasound is this coming this weds:-) and we are so excited! and I also have a little bit of anxiety about it- so please pray for the baby and that everything looks great, this little one does not move nearly as much as my others and the movements are not as strong.

So I have been on a mission , I am finally well enough to start handling everything, meals,kids and cleaning,driving etc. I wanted a house overhaul, this may be somehow do to nesting as Im almost half way:-). I love to take advantage of this drive to have organization. I have been over the past few months, reading various blogs on being a minimalist and have decided- being a complete minimalist (the extreme of living without a couch etc) is not right for me at all-but living more productively, living with less, going against consumerism/materialism, and not needing the 3 pizza cutters I have somehow acquired - is indeed for me:-).

Although its not a great looking drawer(we rent), my junk drawer was packed to where I could not shut it, i dumped everything in a box and the items i used I put back, I will eventually throw out everything I don't use/need in a month(doesn't make it back in the drawer)

Since Iv been feeling better physically-I have been feeling more stressed mentally. Nothing has a place it feels like, no amount of cleaning is enough- most days I feel like I am moving all day and not getting anywhere(and yes part of that is because I have 2 very active boys who tend to walk around behind me dumping their toys or picking up things and dropping them right back down)but some of it is just too much STUFF and unorganized wash that really isnt helping me in anyway. For instance-the spice rack I have, it looks so nice(sorry to whoever bought it for me when I got married) but I realized, I only use a few spices and rarely make anything with the others-and both my boys as young toddlers have liked to come over to the side of the counter and grab at the spices, open them up and dump them on the floor- it is not blessing me anymore, so I am hoping to give it to someone whom it will bless- and will use it. I have some sets of things that go together, while it looks nice I may not use all the items, I have a set of about 15 or so saw knives but I never have that many people over and I certainly would not be serving steak if I was(too expensive,not that I wouldn't like to;-))

  So I finally let go of these " unspoken rules" that my brain has-of sets and needing to stay together- I  picked out items I never use(whether or not they belong to a set) and put them in a box to go to good will. I feel so much better:-). I am back to following my Fly lady plan(which I majorly altered since the last time I used it was when Isaac was still taking late afternoon naps which means he was 4-6months) and I am also going through this 7 day organizational program by Alejandra Costello (she seems a little OCD to me, but her tips and ideas and the basic core of this 7 day program is good). One of the biggest things I learned that is a huge problem, which although simple and I "knew it", it really registered with me when she said it a certain way. " Stop serving mail for dinner" meaning, if your not cooking/preparing food etc. with it, it does not belong in your kitchen. Everything needs a place(closet is the best place for keys and purse, not your counter), mail belongs on a desk/near a desk etc. So between the two systems things are looking SO much better- and it only took 2-3 days so far :-), ok and a LOT of my time when you have toddler interruptions-but well worth it.

The best part of my new schedule- all my work, ALL my housework is to be done before my kids are in bed- think of all the free time- and this includes naps(no house work during nap time) its all solely my time*squeals*  (In order to accomplish this, I make my 3 yr old do ALOT more cleaning up of his own things-sometimes I forget I have been sick for a long time and He has grown up 4-5 more months in that time and is much more capable of doing things-and correctly-not perfect but thats ok). Also, although I spent a lot more time intentionally/actively cleaning,instead of just trying to keep up- I actually have taken my kids outside twice a day for 30 min at a time(before it was embarrassingly hardly ever), and spent more time intentionally with them instead of just "uh huh, uh huh, ok stop making messes, no i cant do that right now I have to clean this up"- I have specific times to do things with them in my schedule,you might think it sounds sad to "schedule" times with your kids to really teach and play with them,but it makes it more intentional and face to face time.

 One day (hopefully soon) when I am not paying medical bills;-). I will buy myself some fancy organizational products that will keep things looking more organized but for now, a combination of putting things back and getting rid of what I do not use will suffice.

 Flylady- Routines and Emails that tell you what to do each day
Alejandra Costello- Free 7 day course on organization basics(the root problems)

As the Storm Clouds Pass

I am 11 weeks pregnant, it is almost unbelievable to me that many women this far along have not even announced their pregnancy. Sometimes I wish I got to wait with that anticipation of telling people, having my own secret- but I know in the case of HG, I need all the support and prayers I can get. Although 11 weeks is hardly even a pregnancy to some women, I feel as though I have endured nearly a whole pregnancy. This is the slowest moving pregnancy I have ever experienced,mostly due to the fact I got sick 2 weeks earlier than the previous two, but I am doing my best to cherish any moment I can. If I make it a few minutes with little to no nausea, I try to enjoy it and thank God for just those few minutes which I had not had for weeks.If I only puke 3 times a day, it is something to celebrate.I am so happy to say that I have had more good days than bad the past week and I have been able to eat some regular foods and I am right now trying to "stock myself" up on fluids and food when I can tolerate it because I have a wedding to go to, and I have been so hoping to go- I just need a few more good days!.. I had originally had a dress I was making to wear but that will prob not be done unfortunately, however it is a blessing just to go and have a good time with the husband- we could use it.

What the 3rd time around the HG block has taught me:

1). It does not matter how good you did yesterday if you don't keep anything down today.
      Dehydration can hit so hard and fast, you may have only thrown up 2 times yesterday, and today you are puking 16 times.

2). The best way to chart progress I have found is by how long you stay out of the hospital and how many good days in a row.
     Just make sure you are staying out of the hospital because you are doing that well and not because you are laying on your bathroom floor dry heaving instead of going to the hospital.

3). Prevention plays a big role.
    You cannot prevent HG except by not getting pregnant, but you can help yourself out by allowing yourself to lay on the couch when your not feeling well and let go of the house and let other people help you. I thought I was doing so well so I would get up and try to do stuff, and then the next day I would be headed towards not keeping anything down. It happens so fast and hg is vicious, best rule of thumb- don't push it. Do not start doing regular tasks until you have survived 2-3 days of significantly less puking and keeping enough down to give you energy. Pick only one task a day at first and work your way up.


4). Nobody wants to need the hospital but you need to be there if you feel like your dying.
      Don't wait until your whole body shakes violently while you vomit, don't wait until your arms literally hurt and you feel like you do not have fluid around your heart. Don't wait until you can hardly stand the trip to the hospital, because you then have to wait there in the bed until they hook you up- it could be another couple hours if they need a specialist to get the iv in.I did this too myself probably 3 of the 5 times I went in. Its tourture- just go to the hospital,forget about the finances and get help. Think about your baby if you are only staying out because you feel like a wuss.HG is torture as it is, help yourself out and go to the hospital.You will have less chance of preterm labor, less chance of loosing fluid around the baby, less chance of loosing your child-its worth it.

5). STOP worrying about your other children at home, and put your health first.
   You cannot spend all your time feeling guilty- you will feel guilty but remember the baby inside of you matters too. There are times in life when one child needs more attention than the other, with HG- it starts from conception. For most women the baby being inside is the easiest part of parenthood, not for HG moms. Your not a bad mom because everyone else is enjoying the summer or holidays with their kids and taking them places and you are stuck on the couch. You have a pregnancy DISEASE, you are surviving a potentially life threatening disease and so is your baby- keep fighting and don't let in distractions. For once in your life you really have to put your own health first and just focus on trying to get fluid and food down.

Another thing to add to the last point, your children will not remember this even if they cry now. They forget so quick and they adjust. Having a sibling added to their family will be so much more joy and take away all of this time. Your baby is worth fighting for and will be completely and totally worth it, the more heartache you endure the more special that child is. Your baby is a miracle, you cannot ensure that child will make it through hg, but you can do everything to our ability to fight and know that you gave it your all for that baby-and that makes you a great mom.

A Song for Baby Ziegler

You Are Wanted, You Are Precious 
Written by: Ashley M. Ziegler

When I wake up every morning and I look into your eyes.
I'm reminded what it took to bring you to this life.
You may never know the trouble I have faced for you, thats sure-
but nothing of that matters, to me anymore.
So, now Ill say-

You are wanted, you are precious
You are loved forever more
You are prayed for, you are cherished
You are mine, and I am yours
Every moment, every minute, I look at you I say
Thank you Lord for bringing my little one to stay.
Thank you Lord for bringing this, today.

The days go on like thunder, the morning will arise.
I ask God the hard questions, I ask him why?
Have you  not seen the heartache, have you listened to my cries?
I know you love me God,but still I must ask why?
And He says-

You are wanted, you are precious
You are loved forever more
You are prayed for, you are cherished
You are mine, and I am yours
Every moment, every minute, I look at you I say
Thank you child for trusting in my word today
Thank you child for trusting me today.

Only moments till I meet you, I can't wait to see your eyes
The trials do not matter, if it is for your life.
When they hand you over to me, I will thank God that's for sure,
because nothing much does matter to me anymore.

You are wanted, you are precious
You are loved forever more
You are prayed for, you are cherished
You are mine, and I am yours
Every moment, every minute, I look at you I say
Thank you Lord for bringing my little one to stay.
Thank you Lord for bringing this, today.

Anger and Finding a New Dream

My worst fear of the PICC came true, I got a blood clot. It only happens in 4% of PICC lines- and I am one of those lucky 4 in a 100. I was angry. Have I not been through enough? Why do I have such amazing odds for things? I am also 1-2 in a 100 of women to get HG. Why am I so "special"? I specifically did not want this PICC line because of the dangers of a blood clot, I tried to move my arm and I still got it only days after getting it placed. Why can't anything just work out good for me this pregnancy? I know my thoughts were getting selfish last night, but I did not care. I was mad at God, the blood clot and needing to change treatment options when something seemed to finally be working- that stinks.However the worst part, the reason I was most angry was because of the shots of blood thinners I have to take twice a day for the rest of pregnancy- they sting like 3 bee stings in a row. I have to fight not crying. The stinging lasts for a couple minutes. I may be mad at the doctors as well for choosing that option of a PICC, but I understand it had the best odds and the most convenient and most effective generally.I have struggled with the thought of " I got a blood clot because of something YOU chose for me and now I have to live with these painful shots until 6 weeks after delivery and I am nowhere near close". That does not really help anything though does it? I still have to take the shots, I still need a IV cath, I still need to make it through HG. It is no ones fault that I have hyperemesis.

I knew I would be sick getting pregnant, I was aware. I did not know I would be THIS sick for sure, I knew I could be worse but I don't know that anyone can be prepared to puke 12 times a day on anti vomit meds. I am mad HG seems to have changed our plans for a family of " more than 2 or 3" as another pregnancy could be life threatening. We both come from families of 6 and 7 children. That is normal to us, hg may not have affected me as badly if I only wanted 2 or 3 children. We all have our dreams for our lives and we are often crushed when they change and we have no control over our problems. Some people cannot have any children or struggle for years and years knowing there is little chance. Some people have disabilities and are never able to walk again, some become blind. What I am going through does not compare to any of those, my life plan has changed and that is going to be ok. I am happy to be able to be blessed (Lord willing) with 3 beautiful children, that is much more than many people get. I will be thankful for what I am given. I also have hope in what God has in store for our lives(more on that later).

In the midst of my anger asking God why last night, for the record I almost NEVER ask God why, I know I am "allowed" but I normally do not see a point,however last night I just cried" WHY ME" " Why did you choose me Lord?!" "Why must I suffer, surely you could have kept this from happening!", I then realized what HE did for me. He died for my sins, he was perfect, he never did ANYTHING wrong and he gave HIS perfect life for me. How dare I question HIM? His struggles were greater than mine. I then thought about Job loosing absolutely everything and still praising God. I have only lost the hope of a easier pregnancy, the dream of being "normal" of eating ice cream and pickles and glowing and really, have I lost any of that? I am only 7 weeks in, that is all still a possibility down the line. So all I have lost is the fact that I am going to be puking and need to go to the hospital frequently, I am weak and need those darn shots- really it is going to be ok. I also still have my baby, that is a blessing in ttself! I must admit I do have a hard time seeing this child as part of our family, I think that is normal this early on. It is just hard to picture and you have to fight the doubts that things wont turn out.

  From the time I was very young I used to tell my sisters and mom that one day I would own a orphanage, I would read all the children bedtime stories, I would teach them individually school, my husband of course would love to do it as well:-D. I would be as closely a parent to those children as possible, I would make them feel loved and accepted and wanted. Of course I am older now and that is not really a possibility, however hg is Gods plan A for our family. He knew what I would go through, He knows what I am capable of and He will never leave me. How great it feels going through this to know I will NEVER EVER BE LEFT ALONE to suffer. I cannot say for sure that adoption is God's will for our family's future, but I have seen how God has worked in my heart to never let go of that passion for orphans, from the time I was probably 7, until now. The passion gets greater each year and every few months. I cannot speak for my husband, that is between him and God, but I have seen God at work on this matter before this pregnancy ever came to be. It is amazing to look back at something and see that God knew it all along. Yet, as I said I am not sure about Gods specific calling for our lives this is just something that has been on my mind and heart for awhile. God would have to put it all in place, the heart, the money, the education for dealing with children from hard places, the love for that individual child as your own. There is a lot to think about,but above all else- is it God's calling for us, we will just have to wait and see on that and you can feel free to pray on that.

So that, the hope of adoption, although it may never happen- helps me through the little bit of sadness I feel with this most likely being the last pregnancy for me. I am sad I never got my one good pregnancy, but I can accept that- I have 2 perfectly healthy little boys with one babe on the way! That is more important than some glowing pregnancy that only lasts so long. I am learning to accept that being a "normal" pregnant lady is not God's calling for me. I would never have advocated for the thousands of women who have HG if it were not for being"special". God's calling is always greater than my own hopes and dreams and I am starting to get excited about what He has in store for us!

The Road to Blessings

If I have been MIA recently, it is for a good reason! Here is what I wrote about 4- 5 days ago..

We are going to have another baby- yay! We are excited, I am almost 8 weeks and hg is starting to get into full force- trying to rob me of my the joy of this little blessing. I feel like I am clinging on  for dear life. I am not only physically fighting this pregnancy, I am spiritually, emotionally, and mentally fighting. I have said before I think Satan tries to play a part in hg with women, now up to 30% of hg sufferers abort- mostly their wanted, planned for pregnancies. I understand completely why these women get to that point, they feel desperate, little support, and they think it will never end- they think they will starve to death and they do not know what lies around the hg bend, they are scared. I am scared. Is God really going to let me have a third healthy baby after hg? Will this baby even survive? With all my might I hope so- I pray so. I know what lies ahead is greater than what I am suffering with now and I flat out don't want to do it again. I feel like a toddler throwing a tantrum-only inside. I don't want to God, please don't make me, just give me one hg free pregnancy! I want this baby, and even if he or she had not been planned, I would want this baby- God never gives you what you cannot handle. I'v done it before- I can do it again!(...but I don't want to have to)
Yesterday,my sisters in laws handed me a cute little stuffed dog with a baby blue cap on it- it is for the new baby. I literally snuggle with it to tell myself I am going through this for a really great reason- the best reason you could be sick actually. I am hoping when I make a trip to labor and delivery for fluids(probably within a week or so with how I am feeling)  that they will give me a ultrasound like they normally choose to for viability, age, and to make the mom feel more at ease. I am hoping I can talk them into just one ultrasound picture. This is uncommon,as the ultrasound is mostly for health reasons and it is not a photo op- I understand. I would love to just have one picture to stare at all day and tell myself- this is my baby, this is why I am sick- this is worth it. My baby counts on me, I am his or her only hope.

This was written  the night before two hospital trips and I got a midline- which is similar to a PICC but does not go all the way to the heart (thankfully) it goes to the top of my arm and it is a very skinny cathedar used with IV medication. I am on generic form of Zofran and pepcid (for stomach acid) at home and my body is responsive so that is good. Right now I still get sick once-twice a day. I suppose what I have with the medicine is similar to moderate morning sickness- but I am still having trouble trying different food I am not eating a ton-but def more than what I was, in the hospital I had about 3 regular meals which is great and was keeping water down! I think I would vomit even less if I stayed in bed all day but I have to be somewhat active for my kids. My strength is starting to come back slowly and I am able to lift my kids(only allowed to lift with right arm and assist with left-picc is in left arm) I will have it in for 6 weeks as long as no complications and then we will evaluate best treatment and see if I can wean onto oral drugs again. There were different treatment options- but none were really options for me.

They looked into a med pump but it is not made to be used with zofran and they said insurance companies get out of paying for it that way since it is not recommended, that would be a needle under a few layers of skin on my stomach and you have to carry it around- many women in my hg group love it but they think that it is not as effective as a PICC and is a hazard with young active children that could pull on it or sit on it accidentally, they also have women who are too scared to insert needle and the needle place needs to be changed.

They considered IV treatment, but that is a prick every 3 days with a new one, it only goes so far into the skin and could be pulled out easily if a young child touched, can cause trauma to veins, and they also needed an anesthesiologist to try TWICE to get it in at the hospital because my veins are very small so a regular home nurse would prob have issue and it would be painful to me.

I was petrified of the PICC, i was bawling my eyes out when they told me(gave myself a headache)- and they did not give me very much time-I found out from the guy from the home care coming up and giving me my bag of supplies, the communication int he hospital was pretty bad. The labor and delivery floor- everyone communicated-but the floor I was sent to because of room shortage, nobody was communicating well or quickly. The nurse I had knew I was getting a PICC but took her time telling me because she knew i did not want it- she did say that the team was contemplating if it was right choice for me and then the next i heared from her she was getting off the phone saying they were on their way up to get me. I was at the hospital by myself and I was very scared- of the procedure and risk of infection and blood clots. I was told it is very rare and that they think this is the best option for the baby. My nurse came over held my hand and literally said " you need to eat , if you cant eat you could loose the baby"...and that was it. The procedure hurt less than getting an IV-since getting an IV usually takes them several tries and fishing around my veins. It is a little sore. Home care taught me how to give myself meds and flush the cath with saline to prevent blockage. In a few days I may be well enough to sew and take care of kids regularly:-).. This may be the most "normal" of all my pregnancies. My dr said she did not want me to only be able to eat one meal after hospital like last time and wanted me to not have to be on bedrest. The nurses told me I shouldnt be in the hospital constantly with sick people while pregnant so home health was the best option and picc was the only option with the information given to them about pumps.

Google image of picc line

Double Stroller Review

I really like to take my kids outside for walks,but we live around many hills and had a sit and stand stroller that just could not make it up the hill without steering badly into a ditch, which I could not get out of without having my two year old get out on a hill where cars fly. Finally one day after running into a ditch- I decided that is it!  I already did not hardly take them out on stroller rides even though I desperately wanted to, because I could not handle pushing them up the hill. I also sometimes run/jog for a very short time with the stroller(sit and stands are absolutely not made for this) it sounded like it was going to fall apart. The other problem was that at the age they are now I like to take them into stores in the stroller when I am not getting anything real big and my oldest is still young enough that he would sleep at times when hes exhausted making for better trips-only there was no back to the seat.

The new stroller

So I consigned my highchair, my single stroller I had not used much from the first, and the sit and stand. I then did over a week worth of searching every free moment on the internet for just the right stroller. There are a lot of great ones, unfortunately you cannot have everything in one package always. I liked the Phil and Ted, but USED they are around 350 ish and up often and do not have the storage space I would like. I also liked the Britax B-Ready(similar with a few more bells and whistles) but that was also out of price range. I finally decided this one just was calling to me(strange?) I just felt a special attachment to it- maybe God was helping me out as well. I decided it was close to the price range  if I consigned all my items. I was still searching on Craigslist for all different ones(as well as jogging ones).

 One day I found the exact stroller I was considering for less than half the price and it was in "like new" condition. We went to get it right away- and I have not looked back:-D I am crazy about it. The lady who sold it, only complaint(why she was getting rid of it) was that it was " too bulky"..but if you know me, you know I never ever pack light in general(specifically kids). Every time I have not packed something I needed it- so I pack it all. The amount of storage space underneath is excellent(could carry three of my large sized diaper bag). I absolutely love that the kids can face each other (they were so giggly and love to chat with each other./babble). I was able to walk up the one hill that I normally fight with the stroller- only this time with ONE hand on the stroller. My oldest is going to get a bit too tall if he wants to put his head back and sleep but that's about it. The rest bar is great for babies whose head fall forward when they sleep(my youngest did the first long walk ). I honestly cannot say enough good things about it- turns a million times easier than my sit and stand. It is not made for jogging but it does have some tread on the tires and did quite well with a little bit of running-nothing jiggled nothing sounded like it would fall apart. Of course I would guess its nothing compared to a jogging stroller for turning, lightness and very rough terrain but it is just perfect for us who go both in stores,up hills, pavement and a little gravel. A huge selling point(I got the newer version from what I have read-there are two- both seats FULLY recline..and I mean fully- perfect for young babies and toddlers. I also got the attachment for a baby seat with the one I got. The boys can both face outward, both face me, one face out ward -one face me, face each other. I love the options! The shades cover much more than average strollers-which I love.

Pros:
Fits two children
Full recline
Adjustable foot rests
Full sun shade
Multiple Positions
Car seat adaptable
Cup holder and compartment for keys and such
Large storage underneath
Rest bar
5 point harness belts
Easy to change seats around
Easy to turn
Easy to push

Cons:
"bulky"(long)
Not meant for jogging-but its not a jogging stroller;-)
Heavy stroller weight
Often have to take seats off to put in car

...I am a little biased. Hope this helps someone!

Get Your Emails And Messages In!

The 20th was supposed to be the last day to get your pictures with your hg awareness shirts or wristbands and send them to me to be entered to be entered for baby/toddler prizes, since I forgot to do a reminder like I had planned I will allow until the end of tonight to email. Right now I know of two people that will be entered, so up to 3 more people and each one will receive something( and i will offer you choices). Above that 3 everyone has a 1 in 5 chance. itsybitsylittleblessings@gmail.or itsybitsylittleblessings facebook page ( link in sidebar).

Thanks to all who raised awareness on social media and passing out flyers/brochures and speaking with hospitals and dr offices,as well as signing the petition for hg funding. I will update later about how awareness day went:-)

Posing with my shirt- you don't have to pose;-)

Do You Puke Your Guts Out When Pregnant?

Do You Puke Your Guts Out When Pregnant?

My HG Video Story Plus More

 My Awareness Day Videos

                                        

                                               

HG Flyer and Brochure

found here

Pictures for Social Media Sites

We would like to cover the social media with info on May 15th ( they will love us I am sure), as well as send letters to ob/gyns thanking them for their care and informing them of the HER foundation's efforts and the need for early, quick care for these moms and babies. Please pin on pinterest and share on facebook, twitter, and google +. Advocate and Educate the public so that one day soon there will be no more"crackering" *giggles*.

Please note- There are more pictures coming by Tuesday(May15th), and if you have/had HG and have a requested one(nothing too gross and no curse words etc) comment or email itsybitsylittleblessings@gmail.com